by Diana Durrill
I tried to get this posted earlier (as it was yesterday's reading assignment), but my heart struggled with the transparency of this issue. Some may know and remember a deep, personal struggle we faced a few year back and the last thing I want to do is drudge those memories up again. And yet....
God comforts me with those memories. He reminds me of how He truly is big enough to take care of me and my family. So here it is...in all my human, transparent ugliness:
For many years, Psalm 25 - 42 have been a great source of comfort to me in times of deep distresss.
I know what you're thinking...when I have I ever experienced deep distress? I have 5 beautiful children, a loving and thoughtful husband, a nice home, a steady income, friends who are faithful and loyal, etc. When have I truly experienced "deep distress"?
Well, in a sense you are right....I have known great blessing in my life that has led to tremendous joy. However, I do face times of deep distress and those times are typically when I have been faced with a problem that is too big for me to fix. One common denominator in those situations is the fact that I cannot control what people think of me. That really, really disturbs me at times. Especially when they believe something about me or my family that simply isn't true.
One specific time few years back, God sent a trial my way that was WAY out of my control. Someone was challenging the integrity of our family in a very, very serious manner and it broke my heart to have no possible way to defend ourselves. To be honest...it made me angry. It ticked me off. But still... there was nothing, and I do mean nothing we could do to defend ourselves or our name. We tried. We failed. No matter how much we defended, denied, and explained (all while trying to understand where these people were coming from), we didn't get anywhere. They are convinced that you are what they think you are and nothing you say or do will persuade them otherwise.
We looked around for our counsel and mentors to defend us. They tried but got nowhere. We prayed, we cried. But this was one of those times where I had absolutly no control of what people were saying about me and my family. And in anger and despair, I went to the Lord and cried out for help.
I was quick to find passages like yesterday's Psalm 35 where we find David crying out over and over again for a defense; for vindication; for protection from those who are hurling false accusations his way. I found great comfort in the fact that David experienced a similar situation and he turned to God with his anger and hurt and fear. He didn't pretend that he was okay. He didn't pretend that he felt assured of God's presence. Rather, he begged God to be present; to get even with his enemies who were after him with no cause. But God didn't let me park there. He took me to verses like these where I indeed found comfort in the freedom David had to share his sincere and deep pain and distress with His omnipotent God. And I don't believe that God viewed it as rebellious cries against His sovreignty. But God didn't let me stop there. He made sure that my heart caught the words of David that say things like,
That is the place God had to bring me to (just like David) as I learned to wait on Him to uphold our integrity. Nothing I could say or do would convince these people otherwise, but God knew that the accusations were false and that, by His grace, we had walked uprightly. I could safely rest my problems into Jesus' hands and know that he could manage them better than I. The question became not could I...but would I.
I am happy to say that by His grace, He led me through that valley and taught me to rest in Him. He taught me that His opinion of our integrity was significantly more important than anyone else's. He taught me that His arms are strong, and when He wipes my tears he also heals my heart.
It has gotten easier to bring these kinds of deep distress to the Lord and rest in His loving care. I am not always successful but I do find myself turning to Him sooner, reading and rereading the Psalms as they comfort my heart by reminding me of God's care.
As we read through so many Psalms we find great comfort in the God in whom we can take refuge. We also find great courage to face our troubles. And we find a God who listens, even when we bring our problems to Him in a fearful, panicked, and sometimes angry way. He appreciates our honesty...He already knows the struggle within. Share it with him and while simultaneously leaving it at His feet and taking refuge under his wings.
Listen to this beautiful and meaningful song by Chris Tomlin that speaks more to my heart than just about any song out there during times of deep distress:
I tried to get this posted earlier (as it was yesterday's reading assignment), but my heart struggled with the transparency of this issue. Some may know and remember a deep, personal struggle we faced a few year back and the last thing I want to do is drudge those memories up again. And yet....
God comforts me with those memories. He reminds me of how He truly is big enough to take care of me and my family. So here it is...in all my human, transparent ugliness:
For many years, Psalm 25 - 42 have been a great source of comfort to me in times of deep distresss.
I know what you're thinking...when I have I ever experienced deep distress? I have 5 beautiful children, a loving and thoughtful husband, a nice home, a steady income, friends who are faithful and loyal, etc. When have I truly experienced "deep distress"?
Well, in a sense you are right....I have known great blessing in my life that has led to tremendous joy. However, I do face times of deep distress and those times are typically when I have been faced with a problem that is too big for me to fix. One common denominator in those situations is the fact that I cannot control what people think of me. That really, really disturbs me at times. Especially when they believe something about me or my family that simply isn't true.
One specific time few years back, God sent a trial my way that was WAY out of my control. Someone was challenging the integrity of our family in a very, very serious manner and it broke my heart to have no possible way to defend ourselves. To be honest...it made me angry. It ticked me off. But still... there was nothing, and I do mean nothing we could do to defend ourselves or our name. We tried. We failed. No matter how much we defended, denied, and explained (all while trying to understand where these people were coming from), we didn't get anywhere. They are convinced that you are what they think you are and nothing you say or do will persuade them otherwise.
We looked around for our counsel and mentors to defend us. They tried but got nowhere. We prayed, we cried. But this was one of those times where I had absolutly no control of what people were saying about me and my family. And in anger and despair, I went to the Lord and cried out for help.
I was quick to find passages like yesterday's Psalm 35 where we find David crying out over and over again for a defense; for vindication; for protection from those who are hurling false accusations his way. I found great comfort in the fact that David experienced a similar situation and he turned to God with his anger and hurt and fear. He didn't pretend that he was okay. He didn't pretend that he felt assured of God's presence. Rather, he begged God to be present; to get even with his enemies who were after him with no cause. But God didn't let me park there. He took me to verses like these where I indeed found comfort in the freedom David had to share his sincere and deep pain and distress with His omnipotent God. And I don't believe that God viewed it as rebellious cries against His sovreignty. But God didn't let me stop there. He made sure that my heart caught the words of David that say things like,
"May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for a I wait for you." - Psalm 25:21
"For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness." - Psalm 26:3
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" - Psalm 27:1
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord." - Psalm 27:14
"How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings." - Psalm 36:7
That is the place God had to bring me to (just like David) as I learned to wait on Him to uphold our integrity. Nothing I could say or do would convince these people otherwise, but God knew that the accusations were false and that, by His grace, we had walked uprightly. I could safely rest my problems into Jesus' hands and know that he could manage them better than I. The question became not could I...but would I.
I am happy to say that by His grace, He led me through that valley and taught me to rest in Him. He taught me that His opinion of our integrity was significantly more important than anyone else's. He taught me that His arms are strong, and when He wipes my tears he also heals my heart.
It has gotten easier to bring these kinds of deep distress to the Lord and rest in His loving care. I am not always successful but I do find myself turning to Him sooner, reading and rereading the Psalms as they comfort my heart by reminding me of God's care.
As we read through so many Psalms we find great comfort in the God in whom we can take refuge. We also find great courage to face our troubles. And we find a God who listens, even when we bring our problems to Him in a fearful, panicked, and sometimes angry way. He appreciates our honesty...He already knows the struggle within. Share it with him and while simultaneously leaving it at His feet and taking refuge under his wings.
Listen to this beautiful and meaningful song by Chris Tomlin that speaks more to my heart than just about any song out there during times of deep distress:
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